Shame
by Negasonic Teenage Warhead
Summary: Post-War/2x1: Five years after the Eve Wars Heero is still struggling to adjust to life in peace times. A mistake destroys what he has achieved so far: his status in Preventers, his reputation among his colleagues and his little social life. When someone from the past comes back into his life he then realizes he has been missing something all along. (Rated M for sexual content)


**Warnings:** Male/Male relationships, Lemon, Language.

 **Author Note's:** This is the other story I'm working on. It took me more time to finish this chapter because I ended up rewriting it entirely (everything I wrote in the previous version of this chapter will slowly appear as flashbacks) and now I'm satisfied with the result. Now I'll go back to _**First Impressions**_ and start working on chapter 2. Please read the warnings, this story has a strong sexual content.

Again I repeat, English is not my first language so you'll probably find some mistakes, I try to avoid making them but some may slip. If you find any you can tell me. Reviews, opinions, comments, critics and PMs are well received so feel free to write them.

Thanks and I hope you enjoy this story.

 **-NTW**

Chapter 1

With a cup of coffee in hand Heero arrived half hour early to work. He opened the door and got into the office he shared with another nine agents. Eight now since two weeks ago his co-worker and friend Wufei was transferred to the Preventers branch in China with his wife Sally. They got married a couple of months ago and both decided they wanted to start their new life together there.

Half way to his desk Heero saw the papers stuck to his desk and chair. Boypussy, fag, slut, manspreading, home wrecker…the insults went on and on. Heero realized that whoever took the trouble to leave them had either stayed late after the cleaning crew had left or had arrived early before him. He just sighed and proceeded to tear the papers off and toss them to the garbage bin. When he finished he sat on his chair and booted his computer. He took a sip from his coffee and checked his emails. Nothing important or pressing except for an email from Lady Une reminding all agents of the Intelligence Department about the meeting on Monday.

 _Stupid meeting_ he thought and his eyes left the screen for a moment to look at the empty desk in front of him. Wufei used to sit there but now they were not only waiting for a new agent to fill in Wufei's place but also a restructuring of the whole department. From Monday on intelligence agents would work on their report assignments in units instead of individually. A unit would consist of two agents: one fully dedicated to desk job and the other would partly be a field agent, in case that a stakeout was necessary. Each unit will have its own office instead of being all together in one. This system had proven to be very effective in the different Preventer branches where it was implemented, the first one being the L2 branch.

With his luck and the level of hostility that most of his coworkers showed him Heero was one hundred percent sure that he was going to be paired with the new agent. Probably a just out of the academy rookie with no idea of what an intelligence agent did. Sadly he was paying the consequences of a situation that hadn't been his fault in the first place. The man lied to him from the moment they met and as a consequence a horrible accident happened. And all in all how the hell was he supposed to know that the guy was married and his wife expecting?

He huffed and ran his hand through his hair, better focus on his task and not to think about that. He printed the request forms he had received and stood up, still holding his now half-filled cup of coffee. He took the papers from the printer and left the office and headed to the archive room.

Once there he sat in the small workstation he had set on the corner. Being there made him feel comfortable as no one but him used the archive room, though from time to time someone snuck in and left him messages just like the ones he found before. As a former soldier he knew that every bit of information available was important when carrying out a mission and even though he had made the decision of never killing again he couldn't avoid feeling responsible for the field agents that risked their lives in the battlefield. The thing with the archive was that information was stored in forms that were far outdated and it was easier to just pull information from the vast Preventer digital database.

After weeks of hard work Heero managed to connect the different outdated data storage devices to a computer and now he was able to access information that was not available in the Preventer database. His intelligence reports were by far the most complete and accurate and even though he never received any 'thank yous' from the men he helped he felt that his job was as important as the job of the field agents.

He spent the entire morning working alone filling in the different request forms he had received until lunch break. He didn't eat in the cafeteria, he had learn the hard way that he was no longer welcomed in the table his colleagues shared. He wasn't entirely alone, Wufei sat with him but eventually Heero got tired of being at the receiving end of everyone's comments and stares and he started eating alone either at the office or the archive room. Moreover he didn't want to drag his best friend down with him.

He left the Preventers building to go to the small Deli that was across the street. He bought his usual salad and went back to the archive. While sitting alone and eating he thought about his plans for that Friday night. Nothing fancy or complicated, just go out and get laid.

He chuckled at his own naiveté. At first he thought that one night stands were uncomplicated, no strings or feelings attached but he had made the mistake of going to the local night clubs. He never thought about the possibility of coming across with someone who would lie to him or from work. Unfortunately when he did it eventually blew up on his face.

It all began when he met Jacob Brenan at The Freezone. Jacob approached him at the bar and after having a couple of drinks and exchanging a few words they went to the bathroom and Jacob proceeded to thoroughly fuck Heero in one of the stalls. Afterwards they went to a hotel and Jacob continued to fuck Heero's brains out throughout the night.

A few weeks later they ran into each other again at The Freezone and they repeated their previous encounter. Later Jacob suggested they should make it steady and be fuckbuddies. Heero agreed, after all the sex was amazing as they had great chemistry in bed. So from that moment on every Friday or Saturday night they met at the same hotel and did the horizontal tango until they were thoroughly satisfied.

For almost four months the deal worked without a problem until one day during lunch break a woman burst into the cafeteria. Everyone went quiet as she stood at the door looking around frantically. When her eyes found Heero she walked straight to him and without a warning she slapped him in the face. Before Heero could react to the attack she started yelling at him.

While she was still ranting at him with very aggressive insults a man appeared from behind and grabbed her, pulling her towards the door while trying to calm her down. The woman turned around and threw a manila envelope at Heero. At that moment Heero noticed the woman's round belly showing she was pregnant and probably only a couple of months away from giving birth. What he also noticed was that the man that just grabbed the woman was Jacob and he was dressed in full Preventer uniform.

And that was when he found out Jacob was a Preventer and married, his wife was pregnant and she clearly thought that Jacob was cheating on her with him. Which in a way was true but he didn't know Jacob was married, not even that he was a Preventer. They didn't necessarily talked each time they met at the hotel.

Overwhelmed by the situation Heero left the cafeteria quickly and went to the only place he could feel safe at that moment: the archive room. Sitting at his workstation he opened the manila envelope and saw what was inside: pictures, lots of them showing Jacob and him entering or leaving the hotel. The woman must have hired a private investigator to follow her husband when she started to suspect he was cheating and that was the evidence she needed to confront Heero.

He didn't go back to work after that, he took the afternoon off. He realized he had been reckless, when they agreed on becoming fuckbuddies he should have checked Jacob's background instead he chose to trust a man he met and fucked a couple of times.

Unfortunately the next day for him things took a turn for the worse. When he entered the office he felt the eyes of his colleagues on him. He didn't understand what was happening until Wufei came and with a serious expression on his face told him they needed to talk. Then he knew something was definitely wrong.

They sat at the Preventers empty cafeteria, Heero noticed the brown folder Wufei placed on the table.

"Care to tell me what the hell is going on? I've heard so many things since I got here but I won't reach any conclusions until I hear what you have to say." Wufei told him.

"I met Jacob four months ago in a night club. Making a long story short we became sexual partners, we met once a week at the same hotel."

"A booty call?" Wufei asked.

Heero nodded, "We didn't talk we just…" Heero trailed off. "I didn't know he was married, honestly. I'd never get involved with someone engaged. I didn't even know he worked here."

Wufei looked at him, he knew Heero would never lie, especially with something as serious as this. He sighed. "Things…got more complicated Heero." He pushed the brown folder towards him, Heero took it and opened it. "Yesterday Jacob and Arlene Brenan had a car accident after they left the Preventer's premises. Apparently they were in a heated argument when he lost control of the SUV and crashed."

Heero could not believe what he was seeing, inside the folder there were pictures of said accident.

"Did…did they…" Heero's voice trembled. Wufei shook his head.

"They survived, but…" Heero raised his head and looked at him, Wufei sighed deeply. "She lost the baby."

And that was it. That day he became a whore, a slut, a homewrecker, a murderer. Wufei asked him many times why he didn't make any attempt to appease what people said about him, to explain that he didn't know about Jacob being married. But what could he possibly say to convince the people who have already condemned him after an innocent life had been lost?

From that day on he became a pariah. His fellow agents stopped talking to him, he was no longer welcomed to join them at their table during lunch neither on their regular Thursday nights when they went to the Time Out Grill & Bar to chill out, eat and drink. One day the threatening messages started to appear on his desk, sometimes on his locker at the Preventer's gym. Wufei started to get worried for Heero's well-being, but Heero dismissed his friend's concerns. He started to arrive at work at least ten or fifteen minutes early so he could take the messages before his friend saw them.

He stopped going to local night clubs and after a thorough search he decided that the best thing he could do was going to nightclubs located in neighboring cities. Sometimes he had to drive for hours so he could feel that he was far away enough.

He looked at his watch, five minutes to five. He turned off the computer and left, he had already sent all the information that was asked, staying there those five minutes weren't going to make any difference. He didn't bother to go to his office before leaving, no one was going to say goodbye to him. He knew he would have a handful of papers on his desk to get rid of on Monday morning.

He got to his apartment and had a light dinner before taking a shower. He changed into clean clothes, a black cotton t-shirt with a V-neck, light blue skinny jeans that rode low on his hips and hung to his muscular legs. Five years have passed since the Eve wars and although he was no longer a soldier nor a field agent he had a training routine that kept him in peak physical condition.

He grabbed his wallet and his car keys and left his apartment, he had a two hour drive to get to the city and another half hour to get to the night club.

The place was packed, the music was loud, and everyone was either high or wasted. So when someone went into the bathroom and heard moans, grunts and slam sounds coming from the stalls they didn't feel surprised, not even shocked. When this man got in and heard such noises coming from one of the stalls he didn't pay attention. He just went straight to the urinals, emptied his bladder and left without even washing his hands.

Heero was panting heavily, his breath coming out in short pants from his slightly open mouth. He was facing the back wall, bracing himself with his forearms on the cistern while standing over the pan with his legs spread. Behind him a man at least one foot taller than him grabbed his hips with a death grip while pounding mercilessly into his ass, pulling his cock out just leaving the tip inside and then thrashing in. The guy grunted and said how good Heero's ass felt. Heero didn't pay any attention to it, he didn't care and never spoke during sex, just moaned and panted at the pleasure he was submitted to.

The ruthless onslaught continued and Heero's breathing was more and more labored, his throat dry, his moans louder, he felt the tension gathering in his stomach and with a few more thrusts he bent over and came on the toilet seat with a strangled groan. The guy behind felt Heero's passage tighten around his arousal, he dug his fingers in Heero's flesh and almost screamed his orgasm.

After a few moments the guy pulled himself out of Heero and leaned on the stall door, breathing heavily. He took out the condom and without even bothering to tie it he threw it into the small trash can that was on the corner.

Heero straightened himself and reached to the left side and took a handful of toilet paper. He cleaned the lube that had dripped from his ass to his thighs and threw the paper in the same trash can where the condom had landed.

They stood there in silence, catching their breaths for a few seconds when Heero felt a hand squeezing his ass cheek, he turned around and looked up in the eye at the guy standing behind him.

"You know, this doesn't have to end now...we can continue somewhere else."

Heero stared expressionless at the man who had just fucked him senseless.

"I can call a couple of friends to join in...if you want." A lustful smile appeared on his lips.

Heero kept on staring at him, this wasn't the first time that he had been offered this kind of proposal and certainly he wasn't going to start refusing them now. During his training J had introduced sex to Heero as a tool to obtain physical release for stress, something that will help Heero maintain his balance and his focus on the most important thing, his missions. After the Mariemaia incident Heero kept on using sex as a tool but free from the strain that being a soldier put on him he discovered that he actually liked it.

Without leaving the guy's eyes he talked to him for the first time since they had got inside the bathroom.

"Okay."

Hearing the affirmative answer from the young man the guy softly smacked the cheek that he had been squeezing. Without even waiting a second he pulled his pants up and got out of the stall, pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and called one of his friends. He looked to the side and saw Heero pulling up his underwear and pants.

"Hey man, are you busy now? I got something you don't wanna miss..."

Heero and the guy, whose name was Jay, entered the small motel. Jay went straight to the reception desk and after exchanging a few words with the clerk, he handed Jay a card. He turned around and made a hand gesture to Heero to follow him. They got into the elevator and went up to the second floor. When they entered the room there were two other men inside sitting at a small round table, drinking beer and waiting.

Both men turned their heads to look at them. While Jay closed the door behind them one of the other two stood up and walked to Heero.

"You weren't lying when you said he was hot!" The man said staring at Heero with greedy eyes. "What's your name, hottie?"

"He won't tell you." Said Jay still standing next to the closed door, "He doesn't want to."

"And how the hell did you convinced him to do this?"

"I just asked him." Jay shrugged.

The man facing Heero laughed and smiled, raising an eyebrow, "Straight to business, I like that."

"By the way" the man in front of him said, "My name's Mark, his name's Rob" he pointed behind him where the other man was still sitting. "You'll be screaming our names a lot tonight." He gave Heero a lewd smile.

"I don't know man, this is too fishy. You fuck a guy in a club and ask him to go on a three-way and he just says yes." Rob said, then had a drink from his bottle of beer.

"That's what happened." Jay answered.

"Don't know man, too good to be true." Rob looked at Heero with distrusting eyes.

"Ask him." Jay said.

"What?"

"Ask him what you want. I'm sure he'll do it."

Rob looked at Heero, he drank again from the beer and whipped his mouth with the back of his hand. He put the bottle on the table and dragged the chair away from the table spreading his legs.

"Fine." He said curtly. "Blow me."

Heero, who had been standing silently all this time, walked pass Mark going straight to Rob and kneeled between his spread legs. He put his hands on Rob's thighs and slowly started to move them up until they reached his crotch. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and slowly rubbed the man's bulge with his palm.

Meanwhile Jay and Mark watched them. Without hesitation Jay took off his clothes tossing them on the floor. Immediately Mark followed his example and both men stood naked, their hands went down, they started to touch themselves watching how Heero stroked Rob.

Feeling the man hardening under his touch, Heero removed his hand and swiftly pulled down the underwear just enough to free the half hard member. He grabbed it by the base and brought his face closer. He opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue and slowly rubbed the head with it.

Rob jumped a little surprised by the feeling of Heero's wet tongue on his member. Heero continued a few more moments and then started to swirl the tip of his tongue around the head, eliciting a few pleasure groans from Rob.

"Did you brought them?" Jay asked. Mark picked up a plastic bag from the floor and tossed it to Jay. He grasped it in midair and emptied its content -several lubricated condom packs and a couple of lube bottles landed on the mattress.

Rob looked at his friends, seeing them naked he took off his t-shirt and threw it to the side. Heero started to move his hand up and down while licking the underside until he felt the shaft completely hard. He tilted his head a little to one side and then took the member completely into his mouth. He moved his head up and down, his cheeks hollow sucking eagerly the flesh. Rob's hips buckled a little, he put his right hand on Heero's head and caressed him, combing his fingers through the lush chocolate hair.

"Time to get ready" Mark said and grabbed Heero by his t-shirt's hem and pulled it up forcing him to let go Rob's member. Mark hooked his fingers around Heero's jeans belt hoops and pulled him up. Standing behind Heero he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and pulled them down together with his underwear. He kneeled and made Heero lift his feet, effectively taking Heero's socks and sneakers altogether with his jeans and underwear. He got up and put his and on Heero's lower back, with a soft push he started guiding Heero to the bed.

"Hey man! We weren't finished!" Rob complained, still sitting on the chair.

Mark looked at him and smiled, "I'm sure that he can blow you while I give it to him."

They reached the bed and Heero climbed on the mattress getting on all fours, his half hard member hanging between his legs, followed by Mark. The man positioned himself behind Heero and put his hands on his cheeks, caressing the soft skin in circular motions with his palms.

"What a sweet ass." he whispered.

He reached with his hand to the side and grabbed a pack of condoms from the pile and one of the lube bottles. He opened the lube with one hand and with the other he spread Heero's cheeks, revealing the tiny ring of muscles. He put the lube on the entrance and squeezed the liquid straight into Heero, making him hiss at the feeling of the cold fluid slipping inside him.

Mark put the lube aside and opened a condom pack, he tear the plastic packet open with his teeth and rolled the condom using only one hand. He returned his hand to Heero's cheeks and spread them as much as he could.

"This is going to be great." He said as he placed his member on Heero's entrance and slowly pushed himself inside. He groaned loudly as he felt the warm, slippery passage surround his hardened flesh. Heero moaned as he felt himself being stretched. He really liked the feeling so he lowered his upper body until his chest was lying on the bed and he lifted his ass as high as he could, offering himself.

Mark kept on pushing until he was buried to the hilt, he didn't wait for Heero to adjust and immediately pulled out only to plunge back in again, setting a steady rhythm making Heero moan with every thrust.

"Oh...you really like this" Mark said pushing himself in and out.

Mark continued rocking his hips, rubbing that soft spot inside Heero. This made the young man whine in pleasure, his thighs trembling from the stimulation.

Heero felt a hand running down from his neck to his chin lifting his face up. He opened his eyes and saw Rob kneeling in front of him naked. The man grabbed his erection and virtually shoved it into Heero's face.

"Come on pretty face, finish what you started."

Heero raised himself a bit on his elbows and opened his mouth, first taking only the head of Rob's erection into his mouth. He sucked it a bit, caressing it with his tongue tasting the precum that was dripping from it. Then lowered his head until his lips touched the base, taking it all in one swift movement. Rob growled loudly from the pleasure of feeling Heero's mouth on him. Heero bobbed his head up and down sucking, his moans strangled.

"Told you he could do us both." Mark said with a hoarse voice. His rhythm had increased, he was pounding harder and harder now. His hands grasping Heero's thighs digging his nails into Heero's skin. Mark thrusted a couple more times and screamed his orgasm.

He kept still a few seconds and pulled himself out, without waiting Jay pushed Mark to the side and put himself in his place. Rob was running his hand through Heero's soft hair. He grabbed Heero by the back of his head.

"Come on pretty face...take it all." Heero looked him in the eye and kept on sucking, when he felt the member twitch inside his mouth he quickly went down all the way relaxing his throat muscles. Rob's hand pushed Heero's head down and arched his back, his mouth open. "Oh God yes!" He screamed shooting his load into Heero's mouth.

Heero moaned as he swallowed the thick fluid. When the spurts finished he moved his head up and down a couple more times, sucking and then released the softening member with a soft pop.

Jay laughed seeing the amazing orgasm his friend had just had, he took Heero's hips and turned him around. He look down and smiled when he saw that Heero had got rock hard by just being fucked.

He took Heero's calves and bend him over, spreading his legs at the same time and exposing the entrance. He pushed himself inside in one swift motion making Heero close his eyes and whine loudly. Like Mark, Jay didn't wait for Heero to adjust and started to thrust aggressively into Heero's slick passage.

Jay managed to strike Heero's prostrate immediately. Heero threw his head back, panting and letting long and loud moans out. He grabbed the headboard of the bed and closed his eyes. His release getting closer and closer with every thrust.

"You make the cutest sounds pretty face." Jay said between gasps.

The assault on his soft spot continued until the pleasure was too much to bear. Heero's stomach muscles tensed and with a hoarse cry he arched his back and climaxed, his warm come spurting in short, fitful gusts, coating his stomach and chest.

Jay felt Heero's passage tighten around him, he could only thrust a couple more times and came with a low growl. He stayed inside Heero for a little, enjoying the way the warm walls throbbed around him.

He pulled himself out and took the condom off, Heero was still panting lying on his back, his legs spread and grabbing the headboard. Two arms slip behind his waist and pulled him up. He felt two big hands grabbing him by his under arms and lifting him up.

He landed on Mark's lap with a soft gasp, the man was hard again and ready to screw him again. Heero put his hands on the man's shoulders for support. Mark slid his hands on Heero's sides up and down a few times and then rested them on his hips.

"Now pretty face, ride me like a cowboy."

And so Heero did, he moved his ass up and down frantically until Mark came screaming and digging his fingers in Heero's skin. Jay and Rob followed doing exactly as Mark did, they made Heero ride them like a cowboy in heat. They kept on taking him alternating turns and positions until their bodies were exhausted and their lust quenched.

Heero let out a long sigh. He was lying alone on the bed, naked. The other three men had already left half an hour ago. He slowly got up, pulling off the sheets that stuck to his body. He walked to the bathroom and took the hand towel that was hanging next to the sink. He opened the faucet and soaked the towel and cleaned his torso from his dried cum. He folded the towel and cleaned his thighs and ass from the excess lube that had dripped. When he finished he threw it into the sink, went back to the room and proceeded to redress himself.

Once he was ready he opened the door and left. He got out of the motel and walked down the street to the parking lot where he had left his car. It was still dark, he looked at his watch, it was half past four. With the half hour drive to the highway plus the two hour drive back to the city he more or less would be back at home at dawn.

When he yawned he decided he needed something to keep him awake, he went to a gas station and bought an energy drink and drank it while walking back to the parking lot. He tossed the can, got on his car and drove straight to the highway exit on the other side of town.

By the time he arrived at his apartment it was daytime. He dropped his keys and wallet on the kitchen table and walked to the bathroom while taking off his clothes, leaving them on the floor. He would deal with them after the so much needed sleep. He got into the shower and washed himself thoroughly, as much as he liked sex he didn't like to smell like sweat and dried cum.

After a relatively long shower he toweled himself and went to bed naked. As he lied down on his stomach he looked at the window, the curtains were drawn but he could see sunbeams seeping through the sides. He blinked and after a few minutes he let his sore muscles relax. Feeling satisfied he gently dozed off trying not to think about Monday's meeting and all the changes it would bring -for better or worse- and the all the notes he would surely find on his desk.

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If FF decides to take down this story due to its sexual content, please remember that I also upload my stories in AO3.


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